return my video game
I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
