well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
