But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
