in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
The beer is more important than you right now.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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