Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
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