What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Farmville is her only friend.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Randomize
