i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
