Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
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