Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
We need to rekindle our bromance
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Randomize
