she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
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