drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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