I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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