I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Randomize
