idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
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