Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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