yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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