Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
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