8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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