I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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