margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
