I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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