Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
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