We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
