its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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