oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
