glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Randomize
