He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
