TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
