Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
he thought i was a dude.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
