We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
