'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
We have started to decorate penises.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
My boob is missing a layer of skin
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
