Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Randomize
