can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Randomize
