I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
