Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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