He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
