i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
