And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Randomize
