i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
