i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Is her dick bigger than yours?
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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