That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Randomize
