he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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