remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
When did angry sex become our thing?
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Randomize
