What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Randomize
