Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Randomize
