get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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