I'm going to jail i love you
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
