Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
