Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Randomize
