I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Boobs speak an international language.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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