This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
