I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
It's just like the Real World with babies
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Randomize
