Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Life is so much better after having sex.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
There r osticjed everywhere
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
