Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Randomize
