Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
