You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Are we in a gay sports bar?
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
