Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
I did not marry a roomba.
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