she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
i now understand why vodka
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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